The Insane Quest Trading Card Game is a trading card game based on The Insane Quest. It's made by Rhadamanthus, and features cards based on the characters, items, and places from The Insane Quest.


Rhad: "Well, I'm kinda nerdy in that a hobby of mine is making card games. Yeah, I know. Kinda weird. One day I decided to make one based on this amazing RP, and the rest is history (and several pages in a Word document). And before you ask...No, I don't actually expect anyone to play it. Heck, even I probably won't play it. It's just fun for me."


Types of CardsEdit

The cards can be divided into seven main types.


The meat of the game. Character cards are based on the numerous PCs and NPCs in the RP. These cards have a base POW, DEF, and HP stat, as well as a Sexiness Bonus and Cost, and an effect. These cards are used to attack and defend against your opponent's Characters. They can be modified with other kinds of cards.

Examples: Washington, Eddie


Supers are a subset of Characters. In addition to their Sexiness Cost, Supers also require an additional cost: this may range from discarding cards, to tokens. Also, they can only be played on a specific (Base) character, and can only stay in play for a limited time. The payoff for this is the greatly enhanced stats they boast.

Examples: Edmund


Another subset of Characters, Helpers wear two hats: One, they can be played like Characters, though they generally are weaker than regular Characters; however, they can be used like Items instead, where you equip them to a Character to increase (or decrease) their stats.

Examples: Spoony Bard, Ben


Items are cards that are equipped to a Character in play to alter their stats and/or give them extra effects.

Examples: Sarah's Whip, Master Sword


Techniques come in two flavors: Offensive and Defensive. Offensive Techniques increase a Character's POW, and Defensive increases their DEF. They can only be used in battle, and are discarded immediately after use; however, they tend to be cheaper to play than Items.



Locations are a type of card that grant bonuses (or penalties) to certain Characters. Each player may only have one in play at a time.

Examples: S.S. Appa, Pinecone City


Events are cards that usually have a one-time effect (but not always). They generally grant some bonus other than stat increases. They have three types: Awesome, Funny, and Heartwarming.

Examples: Wafflesworth Family Reunion, HAX

Winning the GameEdit

There are two ways to win the game.

Prize VictoryEdit

Every time one of your Characters defeats an opponent's Character in battle, you get to claim a Prize (think the Pokemon TCG). Claim all eight of your Prizes, and you win!

Crowning Moment VictoryEdit

Method two involves events. After you successfully play an Event, it isn't discarded; instead, it is sent to a special zone outside of the game. Play three Awesome Events, and you claim a Crowning Moment of Awesome. Claim all three Crowning Moments (Awesome, Funny, and Heartwarming), and you win!

Turn-by-Turn PlayEdit

1. Draw seven cards from your deck.

2. Rock-Paper-Scissors. Winner goes first.

3. Draw a card. Add its Sexiness Bonus to your Sexiness Pool.

4. You cannot play any other kinds of cards until you have at least one Character in play.

5. You may play as many cards as you want, as long as you have enough Sexiness.

6. When you're ready, you may begin the Battle Step.

7. Tap one of your characters when attacking an opponent's Character. Now you may play one Offensive Technique.

8. When you're done attacking, your opponent's turn begins.

9. When your opponent attacks a Character of yours, you may use another non-tapped Character on your side to block.

10. Now you may play one Defensive Technique.

11. When your opponent is finished attacking, it's your turn again.

Advanced RulesEdit

Keyword EffectsEdit

Keyword effects are one- or two-word phrases on a card that designate a universal effect that the card in question can use. They are bolded.


This Character counts as any Class.


If this Character is an Attacker and its POW is equal to the Defender's DEF, this Character wins the Battle. This also applies when the Character is defending. If both the Attacker and Defender have Tiebreaker, the tie is resolved normally.


This Character can Attack on the turn it was played.

Hands +XEdit

This Character has X additional hands (X will be specified on the card).


This Character can wield two Two-Handed Items.


This Character cannot be blocked except by Characters with Flying or Range.


When this Character Attacks and loses the Battle, they do not take any damage. Also, this Character can block as though it had Flying.


If this Character wins a Battle, the loser takes two damage instead of one.

Refund +XEdit

When you Refund this card, it is worth X additional Sexiness.


You may play this card at any time (even an opponent's turn).

Level +XEdit

This Character is treated as X Levels above its actual Level.


When an opponent destroys this Character in Battle, they do not claim a Prize.


When this Character is destroyed in Battle, the Character who destroyed takes 1 damage.


When this Character is blocking, it receives +1 DEF.


When playing this Character, you may sacrifice any other Characters under your control. This Character receives +1 POW for each Character sacrificed in this way.


This Character cannot be blocked.

Note: If a Keyword Effect that only makes sense on a Character (Flying, Range) appears on an Item, that means that a Character equipped with that Item receives that Keyword Effect.

Colon EffectsEdit

Similar to Keyword Effects, Colon Effects are a one- or two-word phrase on a card. These are non-bolded and, as the name suggests, followed by a colon and more descriptive text. The word before the colon designates the target of the card, a cost, or a limitation.


This effect affects all Characters of the same Group as the Character with the effect. The following text describes what bonus the Group receives.

On an Item, the following text will list a specific Group. The Item can only be used by Characters of that Group.

On a Location or Event, a specific Group will be listed. The following text describes what happens to the Group in question.


See "Group," but replace all instances of the word "Group" with "Class."


Replace "Group" with "Race."


Replace "Group" with "Gender."

[blank] TokenEdit

The following text describes specific circumstances. When those circumstances are met, place a [blank] Token on the Character.

Types of Tokens include: Blood Tokens, Blob Tokens, Ice Tokens.

Remove X [blank] TokensEdit

The following text describes the bonus received by removing the designated number of Tokens.


The following text describes what effect occurs as a result of tapping.


The following text names a specific type of Item. When this Character is equipped with an Item of that type, they receive an additional +1 POW from it.

Pay X♥Edit

The following text describes what happens when the designated Sexiness is paid.


The following text names a specific Character. When your opponent has the designated Character in play, this Character must attack the designated Character until it is removed from play.


This shape appears in a card's Sexiness Cost and represents an optional Sexiness that the player may choose to pay, but does not have to. In the card's effect, this diamond may be read as "If the additional Cost was paid..." The following text describes what bonus is received if the optional Cost was paid.


This card may be played as an Item instead of a Character. The following text describes what bonuses the Character equipped with this card receives.


The following text names a specific Character. This card may only be used by that Character.


This only appears on Supers. The following text names a specific Character. This Super must be played on that Character.


Exclusive to Supers. The following text describes what must be paid in addition to Sexiness in order to play this card.

Limit XEdit

Somewhere between a Keyword and Colon Effect. The X represents how many Limit Tokens this Character comes into play with. One Limit Token is removed at the beginning of your turn. When the last Limit Token is removed, this Character is sent to the Discard Pile.


Exclusive to Items. An Item with this Colon Effect will have a Character's name in the title (for example: Sarah's Whip, Washington's Bazookachainsaw, Dolphin's Magnum). The following text describes the bonus received by the designated Character when they are equipped with this Item

It does NOT mean the Item is exclusive to that Character. Lori's BFG can still be used by Luna.


Send this card to the Discard Pile. The following text describes the effect that triggers as a result.

Discard PileEdit

The following text names a specififc Character. The designated Character must be in your discard pile before you can play this card.

List of CardsEdit

  • Washington A. Wafflesworth, Jr., Sr., Jr., MXVII
  • Eddie Cohen
  • Mortal
  • Dr. Ein Kelpforest
  • Frost
  • Ace Sotoru
  • Jack the Chameleon
  • Lori Helenski Fox
  • Sarah Belfry
  • Sir Rustynuts
  • Rose
  • Nightglide
  • Luna Ravenheart
  • Nico
  • Wafflemallow Lupez
  • Jack Sparrow
  • Shigeru Miyamoto
  • Travis Touchdown
  • Chibi
  • Wyu
  • Sola Soulhawk
  • Jefferson
  • Eidde Nehoc
  • Latrom
  • Dr. Nie Algaewood
  • Ember
  • Eca Urotos
  • Shi the Iguana
  • Spoony Bard
  • Chompy
  • Ben
  • Meshi
  • Bonecrusher
  • Oscar
  • Edmund
  • FireFox Nico
  • Giant Mecha
  • Sharkhorn Dragon
  • Pidgeotto
  • Hoar
  • Master Meowmallow Zepul
  • Penguin Scientist
  • Penguin Bodyguards
  • Sam
  • Big Mac
  • Hades
  • Bobby Kotick
  • Cheshire Cat
  • Dolphin
  • Pika
  • Orlando Greaves
  • Sendiel
  • Zel of the White Leaves
  • Link
  • Master Sword
  • Soul Calibur
  • Washington's Bazookachainsaw
  • Eddie's Handguns
  • Gun Gun
  • Sarah's Whip
  • Dolphin's Magnum
  • Lori's BFG
  • Mortal's Mallet
  • Jam Hammer
  • Ace's Sword
  • Rustynuts's Sword
  • Rustynuts's Shield
  • Epic Sake
  • Holy Grail
  • Not-So-Holy Grail
  • Seven League Boots
  • Universal Time-Keeping Silver Pocketwatch
  • Magic Rope
  • Intriguing Novel
  • Mortal's Body Pillow
  • Pirate Hat
  • Sword Sword
  • Jefferson's Swiss Army Boomerang
  • Eca's You-Know-What
  • Ninja Babe Mansion
  • Powersuck
  • Lead Curtain
  • "Hello" in the Kingdom of Smelly Grapefruit
  • Giant Stone Fist
  • Flying Kick
  • Penguin Belly Slide
  • Big Rock Wall
  • Overly Dramatic Sword Clash (w/Sparks)
  • Rudimentary Blocking Technique
  • Highly Advanced Dodging Technique
  • Omni Bro
  • Hat Trick
  • A Second, Hidden Pistol!
  • Earl Grey Tea
  • Rejuvenating Tea
  • Sobering Tea
  • Dresden's Blueberry Herbonical Tea
  • Rum
  • Super Gun
  • Captain Kuro
  • Mortal's Cannon
  • Pirate Sword
  • S.S. Appa
  • Ridley S.S.
  • Strip Club
  • Pinecone City
  • Santa Destroy
  • City of Dis
  • Calming Field
  • Wafflesworth Manor
  • Luna's Homeworld
  • Irving Wafflesworth
  • Umberto Wafflesworth
  • Super Irving
  • Monkey D. Luffy
  • Roronoa Zolo
  • Nami
  • Usopp
  • Sanji
  • The Straw Hat Pirates!
  • Elaborate Escape Plan
  • Kill 'Em All
  • HAX
  • The Scent of Blood
  • Bros. Attack
  • Back From the Dead
  • A Little Random Can Solve Any Problem
  • Reusing Old Tactics
  • Obscure Webcomic Reference
  • A Twist You Never Saw Coming!
  • Failed Transmutation
  • Wafflesworth Family Reunion
  • Appeal to the GM
  • Washington's GH Controller
  • Eddie's Bass Guitar
  • Random WTF
  • Theophrastus
  • Negative Energy Wand
  • Hippo Cannon
  • Jack's Helicopter
  • Sakura Haruno
  • Nintendoki
  • Segami
  • Queeny
  • Mari
  • Nintendoki 3DS
  • Perracious
  • Keyblade
  • Lightsaber
  • Titanic Belly Flop
  • Seven-League Kick

Creator NotesEdit

-When the cards are illustrated, I'll upload pictures.

-Again, this is just for my entertainment.

-Since The Insane Quest is on indefinite hiatus, I may end up making cards based on RPs made by members of TIQ that fit in with the source material: Smile for the Camera, TV Tropes: The Adventure, and Land of the Dead are all potential candidates.

-Man, I really need a life.

-Some of the Techniques and Events are...improvised. I wasn't able to come up with enough based on things that happened in the Insane Quest, so I made up a few based on things that wouldn't seem out of place in the Insane Quest.

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